Why Can't Life be More Like a Game Show?

Do you ever wish that life was kind of like a game show where if you don’t want to mess with the object at hand you can just say “pass” and then everything will move on as if it was never a part of the rubric? 

The bullies have returned to school and . . . miracle of miracles . . . the four (my son plus the three girls) are now –friends? 

Wow.

 I had to ask him how that happened.  He said that he wasn’t sure, just that he held the door open for the girls when then came back to class today and that they seemed to sincerely compliment him on his skills during gym.

Will it keep up?  I hope so. 

Now -- on to the next challenge.  A virus is starting to spread through the house.  I have classes tomorrow.  I have a midterm exam tomorrow.  I have no one to watch sick children who are terrible patients  . . . pass . . . please . . .  pass . . . pass!

What’s that you say? Request Denied?  Well . . . that just stinketh!

Heartbroken about Bullying

The irony of life continues to amaze me.  On my last post I thought that my son was going to be okay.  He has his mouthy days to teachers who are great at taking it in stride explaining to him the situation to which he responds contemplatively and apologetically--normal preteen stuff. 

Then I pick my son up from school and he seems okay . . . until he gets about two feet from me where he commences to sob.  He is heartbroken.  I am heartbroken and don’t even know why.

It takes about 30 seconds (a lifetime in sob time) to finally get him to talk--to tell me what has distressed him so.

He is in seventh grade.  On Tuesday he has Gym.  Tuesday three eighth grade girls physically accosted him.  Two girls grabbed his arms tightly while the third yelled in his face.  He can’t remember what was said because he was terrified that he would be physically harmed more that what was happening.

The thing is that the teacher had left the class to go into the building (they were out on the field) to retrieve something that he had forgotten.  Doesn’t he know that you never leave 30 seventh and eighth graders alone without supervision?

He and I wrote up reports about what happened.  Gave it to the vice-principal and waited to find out what was going to happen . . . if he needed to be concerned when he returned to school the next day.  He did NOT want to go to school the following day and I didn’t feel inclined to make him go. 

The vice principal said that Thursday and Friday he will have no need to fear but she could not tell me what happened to the girls responsible for terrifying my son.  But, what about Monday?  Tuesday? Wednesday?  The rest of the year?  This is not the first time the girls have attempted to intimidate him.

With all that has happened I wonder and worry about his safety.  What do you think you would you do if you were put in this situation?

Nice Matters

Have you ever been in a hail storm or tornado?  Have you been pelted by things that after the constant barrage of well meaning criticism you simply implode or explode?  It seems that our youth are under fire with the tongues of their peers.  Our youth are killing themselves or each other as a result of the constant fire and disapproval. 

My son is 12 and has experienced the accusation of being “gay.”  He has experienced unfounded rumors that he and a friend of his kissed each other.  Lies and yet they live because our youth want to find someone to demean and demote.  Like politicians these bullies lie to make others like them because they want to be perceived as better than the victim.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that is practically run via cyberspace. Villain and non-villain, alike, have 24-hour access to this invisible world to communicate.  Unfortunately, some of these communes turn national because someone said something or did something and told the rest of the world. 

It is the atom bomb of meanness to video tape someone without their knowledge--especially a private act (I don’t care who it is with) and then post it on the internet. I feel for the family of Tyler Clementi and his friends.

Whatever happened to just being nice? 

So how do you keep children safe in a world so widely available?  In our family we try to avoid the barrage of mean-speak by making sure that the computer is in a central location where an adult is always available.  My children do not carry cell phones and they do not have their own email address.  They are only 12 and under.  As they get older this will have to change but not until I feel they can handle it appropriately.

But above all--they need to learn to be nice because nice matters!